


Little Friend

by Jay2Noir



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Babies, Childbirth, Crying Kylo Ren, Crylo Ren, Emotional, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Reader, Kid Fic, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, POV Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-24
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:16:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23825926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jay2Noir/pseuds/Jay2Noir
Summary: After his live-in girlfriend of many years one day packs her bags and leaves him for seemingly no reason at all, Kylo finds he must be losing his mind. He's used to seeing Rey come through their Force bond, but soon after he's alone he finds a new person is connecting with him. An infant, appearing to float as it is handled by its caretakers, appears before him time after time, and it leaves Kylo completely clueless. It isn't until Kylo gets word of another Force sensitive individual on his radar that the pieces of the puzzle start to fit together, and Kylo finds himself in a race against the clock to uncover the secrets this infant holds from him.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/ you, Kylo Ren/Original Female Character(s), Kylo Ren/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 58





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be working on Saint, but I took the last few days to write this short story up. It's shorter than my usual works, but I had so much fun writing it. Shout out to my good friend Cheeky_Monkey to putting up with me talking to her about it every day lol. I'm sure she's happy to see it posted already.

Kylo Ren was a sound man. A powerful man, a sane man. He spent his days diligently tracking the Resistance and taking down anyone who got in his way, and he did so with the class and ambition of any great leader. He felt like he had a good head on his shoulders, like he had everything under control even though the scavenger girl, Rey, had slipped from between his fingers so many times now. He would never let the word “failure” flow through his mind. He was determined. He would one day bring her and her entire organization to its knees. There was absolutely no doubt about it.

He planned. He schemed. He was open about every single one of his plans with only one person: his live-in girlfriend of four years. They met on a distant planet that he was vacationing on, taking some time away from work yet still monitoring the going ons of the Supremacy from his tablet. She was an escort, and he was a lonely, stressed man. As discreetly as he could he paid for her services, and was completely blown away by the experience she gave him. The way she spoke, the way she felt him, hugged him, fucked him, and everything in between. No, he hadn’t fallen in love with her then. He suspected it happened sometime between when he offered her a home on his ship and when he showed up to her door a few months later, flowers in hand, begging her to move in with him, that he knew he was in love. Luckily for him, she took his face in her hands that night and said she loved him too, and would be more than willing to live with him. He had never loved anyone as much as he loved her. He loved her so much, that she knew about almost everything that went on in his work and personal life. It was just such a shame that he didn’t realize that he was ever so slowly pushing her away.

He was an idiot. Crazed to find the scavenger that it had almost become the one and only thing he talked to his woman about. Looking back, he could see the hurt in her eyes over the year and a half when he was hunting the scavenger, he just never put two and two together. He allowed his work to take over his life, and he didn’t see it as a problem until he came home to her crying over and frantically packing a bag in their bedroom.

“I saw you, and her, together.” She exclaimed, barely able to breathe. “You, and the maid. I saw you! Don’t lie! You’ve been cheating on me!” She said, rubbing tears out of her bloodshot eyes. Kylo was completely taken aback. Him and the maid? The 40 year old woman that came to his home twice a week to clean and do his laundry? The maid that only came when he was at work all day? The maid that he had only met once in his entire life? That was preposterous.

“You’re crazy.” He said, trembling as he watched her continue to simply throw her clothing into the suitcase. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ve never cheated--”

“Kylo!” She screamed, silencing him unlike anyone ever had. “It’s over. And there is  _ nothing _ you can do to change my mind.” 

He got on his knees and begged. He pleaded. He cried. He offered her anything she wanted if she would just stay. He professed his innocence over and over, but she was an immovable mountain. She had it in her head that Kylo had been unfaithful to her, and she was determined to leave him. 

“Please, baby. Let’s work something out.”

“No.”

“I love you. I could never--”

“I want to leave.”

“Please.”

“No.”

Nothing he said did anything to her. She simply walked out of his door, out of his life,

And she never came back.

The search for the scavenger had come to a screeching halt as Kylo mourned the loss of his woman. He didn’t know what had come over her, didn’t know what could have made her think of him as such an animal, that he stayed in bed crying for what seemed like an eternity after she had left. He was unable to do anything, to live life as he knew it and he knew he was weak. He could concentrate on nothing but her, and found that there was one thing he could do to prove to her that he loved her, even if she was gone.

Having the revelation just a few days after she left, he started making the preparations. He knew the ship she had flown out on, it was headed toward an allied territory which he was thankful for. He pulled up her boarding pass and added a note, to take her to a house he had just bought and made plans to furnish for her. He transferred half a million credits to an account he had opened for her, and he just waited. And waited. And waited.

He waited days and weeks for any kind of word from her. But he got nothing. No thank you, no I’m sorry, nothing. Eventually, two months after she left he couldn’t take it anymore. He had to know if she was safe or not so he sent a small team to perform a welfare check on her, and was severely distressed to hear that she was gone. The house he had bought for her was empty, the account he set up for her had been drained, and she was nowhere to be found. Once again, Kylo responded by bursting into tears and becoming bedridden for days. He missed her. He only wanted to take care of her, and now, she was truly gone.

Kylo had begun to think he was losing his mind when his woman accused him of cheating on her, no doubt, but this thought only made its presence known a little under a year later when he began hearing things that he knew were not there. 

It started one evening while he was in the shower. The hot water cascaded through his freshly shampooed and conditioned hair, over his body and down toward his feet. He had spent a generous amount of time healing from the loss of his girlfriend, and at the moment wasn’t feeling anything at all. It was a shower. Something he did every night and he had no second thoughts about it. 

Until a strange feeling came over him. 

Slowly, like ice cubes melting into a puddle, prominent feelings of fear, pain, and uncertainty fell over him. These feelings built in his chest, so much so that he simply began staring at the shower wall until his anxiety could no longer take it. There was something wrong, but not with him.

With Rey.

He was no stranger to this feeling. Snoke had connected the two of them via the Force so long ago, and every so often the two of them would connect and could feel and see each other. The last thing he needed was for her to see him in the shower like this, so immediately he shut the water off and threw himself from the shower stall, reached for a towel and wrapped it around himself. He stood there in his steamy bathroom just waiting for the moment he’d see her, going over and over in his head what he’d say to her this time. He hated that he had no control over when this happened, and he wished that Snoke, before he had met his death at Kylo’s hand, would never had set this thing up with her. It was embarrassing, and it seemed there would be no end in sight.

When the connection finally happened, when his breath stopped momentarily while the feeling of cool water began running throughout his head and down his spine, he knew the two of them were connected. 

“What is wrong with you?” He snarled, one part wondering why she was so afraid and one part wanting to bully her away from him, but Rey’s reaction, or lack thereof, left him utterly confused. He couldn’t see her and he couldn’t hear her. The only thing he could hear was a small squeak. Then another, and another, until those squeaks bled into screams. But it wasn’t Rey screaming, it sounded like someone much younger. Like a baby, a brand new baby.

“Hello?” He asked, trying his hardest to swallow his confusion. But the wails continued to grow louder, and louder, and he still couldn’t see anything. “Rey?” He whispered, gripping his towel and stepping forward. He could feel that there was  _ someone  _ there, in his home, with him, but he couldn’t see them. He huffed, sick and tired of whatever was happening to him he began to walk forward, out of his bathroom, into his bedroom, and out toward the hall. He could hear the cries of the infant growing louder and clearer, he had to know what was going on. He began running throughout his home, anxiously looking for any clue being sent through the Force as to what was happening to him, but just as soon as the cries started, they stopped. There was once again silence throughout his home, and his connection with Rey had ended. He was once again alone, and he had to wonder: Was Rey playing some kind of cruel joke on him? Was she teasing him with something he’d now never have? 

His heart became empty as he turned around, defeatedly heading back to his bedroom to continue readying himself for bed. The interaction was bizarre, but the more he thought about it the more he realized his original assumption didn’t make any sense. To his knowledge, Rey didn’t know about his now ex-girlfriend. He also hoped that she wouldn’t be immature enough to take an infant and purposefully torture it in order to get a rise out of him. He thought and thought, trying to make sense of the whole ordeal when he realized that she couldn’t have been teasing him. He could feel her emotions and she wasn’t jovial, she wasn’t laughing. She was frightened, and Kylo was left feeling even more confused. He had no explanation for any of it, and realized that maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to lose his grip on reality.

He went to bed that night wondering if he really had cheated on his girlfriend with the maid, and if he really had heard an infant crying or not. He was at a complete loss, and decided he needed to sleep. Maybe he needed a few days off of work. Maybe he needed more time to heal from his loss. 


	2. Chapter 2

The connections to his bondmate stopped for a few days, and Kylo felt like he had once again found peace. He took it easy at work, still putting the search for Rey on hold as he found it was adding too much stress to his daily life. Hux was livid, often cornering him and interrogating him as to what was going on. He never had an answer for him, because he was unapologetic. Hux had also been the one to call him an “uncontrolled, over emotional toddler” on more than one occasion, so Kylo thought he was saving Hux the trouble of “dealing” with him by slowing things down. He missed his woman. He wanted her back, and the bizarre encounter with Rey didn’t help anything at all. 

He was enjoying his smaller workload quite a bit. He always made a point to stay home when he could, because there he was peaceful and unbothered by anything around him. One evening he sat working on a small, wooden puzzle at his dining room table, one that his ex girlfriend had brought home one evening and needed his help with. She had left so suddenly that they never finished it, and now he had made it his mission to finish it. If not for himself, then for her. 

He sat pushing the wooden pieces to and fro, pulling them apart and placing them back together when he’d realize he had gotten it wrong. The task was both frustrating and, in a way, charming. It brought back memories of her that flooded back to him, and he found himself smiling at the jumble of blocks. He missed her so much. He wished she would contact him in any way she could. A letter, a phone call, a visit. Anything. He wanted her back in his home, in his arms, and he would do anything to prove that he was worthy of her love again.

As he was working his way through the blocks he felt his breath hitch, and the cool sensation running throughout his mind. He sighed, not really wanting to speak to Rey at the moment but it would seem the Force didn’t care about him and his wishes. He closed his eyes as their bond became clearer and clearer, and once it was 100 percent complete he could feel her presence in his home. She was standing right behind him, as quiet as a mouse and he couldn’t have been more annoyed.

“What is it?” He said, being pulled from his peaceful state of mind. He stood, turned around completely expecting to find Rey standing there just as angry as he was, but what he was staring at was the furthest thing from Rey possible. 

It was an infant, cooing and staring up into his ceiling. It was swaddled in a small grey blanket, its black hair plentiful and wild atop its head. Its mouth opened and closed as it moved its head around, looking curiously around as if it, too was confused about where it was. What was most striking about it was its size. Kylo had never seen such a chubby infant before. With such round cheeks and a large head, the child looked much older than Kylo thought it was. But the small cooing noises and movements it made told Kylo that it was a brand new baby, likely only days old. Kylo moved in a little bit closer, still confused about what he was seeing. Rey was still nowhere to be seen or heard. There was only him and this newborn baby.

What was most strange to Kylo was the fact that it was floating. It was horizontal to him, floating in mid air around the height of his pelvis and gently swaying back and forth. It was like the baby was in the arms of an invisible person that was rocking in a rocking chair. Kylo had no idea what to think, but calm and comfortable emotions began to take over his confusion. He still didn’t know where Rey was, but whatever she was doing, she was comfortable. He took another step closer to the infant, leaned over to get a better look at it. By all means, it was a cute baby, but all newborn babies were cute. There didn’t seem to be anything special about the intruder in his mind, and for the first time he wonders: Is this Rey’s baby?

A pang of jealousy sends a spike through his heart. Why would Rey be showing him her baby? Kylo had dreams of starting a family with his ex girlfriend but, again, how and why would Rey know that? Why would she tease him with what he couldn’t have? There was no reason for it. As far as he knew, she was hiding from him. It didn’t seem like something he knew her to do, but he truly couldn’t think of any other reason why an infant would be coming through their bond. He became enraged, snarling at Rey to make herself seen, but the only thing it did was turn the infant’s attention toward him.

As he stared into its baby blue eyes, he couldn’t help but to look at them in awe. Babies were his weakness. They were so innocent, so pure, so untouched. He had always wished for a baby of his own, one that he could raise and raise correctly. He hardly felt for the young lives that were ended by setting his uncle’s temple ablaze. They were spoiled by his uncle's delusions and there was no hope for them. But a baby, sired and raised by him would be perfect. He knew nothing about this baby, where it was, who its parents were or why he was seeing it, but he thought it was perfect. Divine, curious for the knowledge he could give it. A smile spread across his face as he reached a hand out to it, wanting to know if it was real or if he really was delusional, but before he could get anywhere near it, the rocking stopped and the infant shot up in the air. It now floated around his chest, and he noticed it began shaking uncontrollably. But the baby wasn’t shaking, whoever was holding it was.

He stepped back as he watched the infant gyrate, move erratically, and eventually, turned its head away from him and began to wail. He saw the blanket began to stretch as it kicked and moved its arms around beneath it, and he could tell it was stressed out by whatever its caretaker was doing. Kylo held his arms out and tried to comfort it, to shush it and stop it from crying, but suddenly, within the blink of an eye, it was gone. Kylo stood empty handed in the middle of his dining room, staring at the floor where the infant had been floating just a moment ago. He had a never ending stream of questions and absolutely no answers. He was still sure that Rey was behind this somehow, but he didn’t know her intentions. There was only one way to find out, and that was to either find her or get her to show up when they were connected to one another.

Over the next few months, the infant appeared to Kylo every few weeks. Sometimes it was while he was at work, sometimes it was while he was flying, and sometimes it was while he was at home. Some times were more welcoming than others. It woke him from his slumber once, crying until he got out of bed and found it floating a few from the floor in the hallway.  It was screaming, its face red as a beet while it did its best to free itself from the confines of its blanket. He watched it, wishing he could do something to stop it from crying until he saw it be lifted by its invisible caretaker. The infant vanished into thin air, leaving Kylo free to go back to sleep. He was still puzzled as to why he was seeing a baby this late at night, but he was so tired that he left the thought to ponder some more in the morning. 

One time he connected with the child while he was at work, and found it hovering and moving forward as if it were in a stroller. It was the first time he had seen it not swaddled in a blanket; instead it was dressed in a simple white bodysuit. He could tell the child had aged and was now a few months old, as it was much more expressive when it noticed Kylo was looking at it. A toothless grin appeared across its face as it locked eyes with Kylo, and Kylo couldn’t stop his own smile from appearing when he witnessed the child flap its chubby little limbs about. Even its hands and feet were so adorably chunky. He wanted so badly to hold it and play with it, but he knew the two couldn’t interact through the bond. Instead, he contently walked alongside the floating infant for a few feet until it simply disappeared from his vision. Overall, he enjoyed the child’s occasional presence, even if he didn’t understand why it was appearing to him. 

It took a while before he had seen Rey again through their bond, and when he did he was so shocked that he didn’t even know what to say right away. He stood, stared at her as she sat with her back turned toward him, working at what he assumed to be a desk or work station of some kind. He shook his head, suddenly so frustrated with her and what she had been doing to him. He knew she could feel him too, he knew she knew he was there, but she wasn’t acknowledging him. 

“Rey.” He breathed, trying to keep his anger at a minimum.

“What do you want, Kylo?” She answered, still not turning around. He wasn’t sure how to say it, how to articulate his words to not appear so dramatic or suspicious, so he feels its best to just come right out and say it. He hated what she was doing and it needed to stop--tonight.

“Stop showing me your infant. I’m tired of seeing it.” He says as confidently as he can. He really didn’t mind seeing her baby every so often, but there was just no reason for it. It took away from his work and had woken him up in the middle of the night once. He wasn't a parent, and he couldn't take care of the infant so there was no reason why he would need to see this infant so often. Rey stopped what she was doing, swiveled around in her chair and stared at Kylo as if he had just grown a second head upon his shoulders. Kylo stared back, waiting for any kind of explanation or agreeance with his demand. Surely she knew what she was doing was childish. He just needed her to admit it and leave him alone.

“What did you just say?” She asked, and Kylo shook his head at her.

“Your baby. Stop showing me your baby through our bond.” Rey stared at him, her eyes widening until she lost all composure and burst into laughter, leaving Kylo growing more embarrassed by the second.

“A baby? I don’t have a baby! You’re delusional.” 

“Quit lying to me, scavenger,” He said loudly and confidently, even though on the inside he felt like he was falling apart. “I’ve seen it so many times now, and I don’t want to see it again.” She only continued to laugh at him, only calming herself enough to wipe her eyes and continue to berate him.

“Kylo, I don’t know what to tell you. I don’t have a baby, and if I did you’d be the last person I’d ever show it to.” She teased him, and he felt his cheeks beginning to turn red. He felt she was telling the truth, but it didn’t do much to help him and his mental image of himself. He was at a complete loss, and had no idea how to proceed from here. 

“Lying wench.” He snarled, only to have Rey roll her eyes at him. Before he could speak, to threaten her as he usually did when they were connected, she spoke over him.

“If this has to do with the Force sensitive girl, you’d better stay away from her.” She said, turning her tone from hilarity to a much more serious one. Kylo was once again frozen in his tracks. A Force sensitive girl?  _ Another  _ Force sensitive girl? Why hadn’t he heard about this until now? “She is ours, Ren. As soon as we find her she’s going to bring you down.” She said, and Kylo was left so stunned and enraged that he reached toward Rey, ready to snatch her by her hair and beat the answers he needed out of her, but before he even had a chance to reach her she was gone. He was left by himself, fuming as he knew he had even more pieces to a confusing puzzle that he had no idea how to solve. It would seem the infant he had been seeing was a girl, who was so Force Sensitive she appeared on everybody’s radar except for his. He couldn’t let her fall into the hands of the Resistance. He didn’t need another powerful being to get in his way. 

From that moment forward, his number one concern became that infant. He needed her, and he was going to train her to be far more than what Rey and the Resistance could possibly make her.


	3. Chapter 3

Kylo worked day and night in search of the infant. He followed the Resistance’s tracks closely as well as some others, but everything came up fruitless. Hux thought the search was useless, and that this is exactly what Rey and the Resistance wanted from him. But Kylo had enough evidence. The baby girl that kept appearing to him time after time. She was lively and powerful; if she wasn't so strong he wouldn't have been seeing her. There was no reason to believe the infant didn’t have the Force when the Force was what was continually connecting them. He still had no idea who her parents were or what they were doing about their Force sensitive baby. For all he knew the child could be related to Rey in some way, shape, or form, but that was okay. He was convinced that the child would be better off in the hands of the First Order than the Resistance, even if her parents would not comply with them.

As time went by, she appeared less frequently to him. Instead of seeing her once every week it became once every few months. By all means, Kylo did enjoy it when she would randomly appear to him and he got to see how much she had changed, but he did find it easier to concentrate on his efforts when she was not around. He wondered if that’s how a parent felt. That they would love their child but would sometimes need alone time. He laughed at himself as he flipped through another page of the daily Resistance’s movement report. He wasn’t even caring for the infant, yet he was already thinking like a parent. His jovial thoughts quickly turned dark when he realized that he would not be becoming a parent anytime soon. 

He was alone. The one person he had ever loved had left him. The one person he could see himself starting a family with had stormed out of his life, and he felt sadness taking over. He places his tablet down on the couch next to him and rubs his eyes, wondering if she even thinks about him. If she thinks fondly on the memories they shared together before he became consumed by his work. If she thought about how good he made her feel and vice versa, both in their intimate life and personal affairs. He misses her, he mourns her, but before he’s able to cry, or beat himself up over the fact that he truly did feel like he had done something to push her away, a strange noise from beside him draws his attention. 

He’s heard it before, but not in a long time. The familiar sound of everyone’s favorite childhood toy bouncing and rolling to his feet causes him to turn and look to his left and, sure enough, a small red bouncy ball was quickly making its way toward him. He didn’t know what to think at first, until he realized that it was likely his little friend. He lifted his eyes up a little further and was not surprised to see the infant sitting there only a few feet away from him.

Well, she wasn’t really an infant anymore. 

Seeing her sit up was a first. Seeing her smile at him with two small white teeth sprouting from her bottom gums was a first. Kylo chuckled as she squealed at him, and he instantly found himself at ease. He turned in his chair toward her, being mindful to not step on her ball. For some reason, a sense of pride filled his chest as he looked at how much she had grown since the last time he saw her. It felt like just yesterday he was seeing her being rocked in midair as a newborn. Now she was sitting up, and he couldn’t believe how much time had passed. 

“You’re, you’re getting big.” He said awkwardly. She laughed at him, a big hearty belly laugh that caused her short black hair to tumble around at her temples. She was dressed only in a red shirt and a blue cloth diaper, and it seemed like her weight was beginning to even out on her body. Kylo had no idea about babies, but if he had to guess she was likely close to being a year old. 

She stuck out her hand and waved it around a few, willing the ball back to her with the Force. The action made Kylo’s heart stop in his chest. He had never known a child that young to be able to use the Force, and use the Force so well. The ball quickly rolled from his foot into her little hand, and she managed to use both of her hands to pick it up and hug it to her chest. He swallowed, unsure of what to say or do. She was strong in the Force. Powerful, likely unstoppable from such a young age. It was no wonder Rey was so hellbent on finding her. He had his mind made up that he had to take this child and her family in and get her the training she needed right away, and he didn’t care how he had to do it.

“What is your name?” He asked her, but, as he really should have expected, he got no response. Instead, he watched as she babbled and drooled, rocking herself back and forth on her butt before her uncontrolled arms flew forward and sent the ball once again rolling back to him. The two of them sat there and stared at each other for a moment, but before Kylo could even think about his reaction to her, she burst into laughter. She just giggled and giggled and giggled, and her laughter was so infectious that Kylo couldn’t help but to laugh with her. He realized that she had appeared to him tonight and wanted him to play with her. He had never played with a child before as a fully grown adult, but he thought rolling the ball back and forth to her couldn’t cause much harm. 

Nervously he stuck his hand out toward the ball, nudging it forward with the Force so that it gently rolled to her. Her eyes were glued to the ball the entire time, and when it rolled in between her knees she once again burst into a glorious laughing fit. Kylo’s face began turning red as he really didn’t know what he was doing. Here he was, playing with someone else’s baby that he didn’t even know, and he was having such a good time. Her small hands wrapped around the ball and she once again tossed it to Kylo, and she watched in antagonizing anticipation with her tongue between her jaws as Kylo pushed it back to her. It was such a wonderful moment for him. At the time, nothing existed but him and this child. He wished it could be like this more often. He wished he had one of his own. He thought if this was as fun as a child could possibly be, it would be worth it. He thought if he got to see his own child smile and fall over laughing like this on a regular basis, he could take the stress and the struggles of parenting no problem.

The two rolled the ball back and forth a few more times, laughing and smiling at each other until Kylo noticed something odd about the toy. Once she had rolled the ball to him and it had come to a stop, a small black mark had drawn his attention to the side of the ball. It looked like it had been drawn on it in permanent marker, and he could clearly make out an upside down letter J. He had been so focused on the child and her engaging expressions that he didn’t take the time to inspect the toy. His heart began to race. Whatever was written on here could give a clue to who she was or where she was located. Using his pointer finger he turned the ball around until he could see all of what was written on the rubber surface: 

_ C.J. _

All that was written were two letters. C.J. It must have been her initials. He looked up at the baby again as she vibrated in excitement, waiting for him to roll the ball back to her. Kylo was skeptical, going through his mind trying to figure out what her name could possibly be, when something else about the letters stood out to him.

He recognized this handwriting. The curve of the C and the way the bottom curled in on itself, and the slope of the J. It looked so familiar to him, and he lost control of his thoughts for a moment and rapidly reached for the ball. He held it in his hands, physically felt it and looked at the letters even closer. For a moment he thought--

No. He was once again imagining things. This was not his ex girlfriend’s handwriting. He was just missing her extra hard, wishing he had her back and was placing her handwriting on the ball. This ball belonged to the baby that was sitting right in front of him and her parents. It did not belong to her. 

With a heavy sigh he set the ball down onto the floor, but he didn't realize that he had prematurely ended the connection between him and her until he looked up and saw that the child was gone. He looked around, even craned his neck to look behind him, but the child was nowhere to be found. He started to panic, realizing that he had a toy that she enjoyed to play with, and he had no idea when he’d be able to give it back to her. He felt so horrible, just like the way he had grabbed Rey’s necklace and tore it from her neck he had snatched the ball from the child and ended the connection with them. He should have known better, and now he worried that he had made that poor child cry.

“I’m, I’m sorry.” He said out loud. He was sure she wouldn’t be able to hear thim, but, if she could, at least she would know he was remorseful. He shifted the ball in his hand a few times, once again concentrating hard on the handwriting before slipping it into his pocket. He never knew when he was going to see the girl, so he decided he’d hold onto the ball. Next time he saw her, he swore he’d find a way to get this ball back to her.

Hopefully, the next time he’d find her would be in person, carrying her to the nursery workers on the Supremacy.


	4. Chapter 4

Kylo kept the toy he had accidentally stolen from the baby in his pocket at all hours of the day, hoping that he’d connect with her and he’d be able to return it with no harm done. He was hyper aware of the Force connection, waiting for the moment his breath would stop and he’d turn around to see the child sitting there beside him. At night he’d place it on his bedside table so that if her crying woke him he could easily jump up and return it to her. Sometimes he’d take the time to admire it, to hold it in one hand and study the handwriting before bed or when he had a moment to himself before work. He swore it looked like hers, but it couldn’t have been. Sometimes he’d take the time to hold the ball when he was stressed out, but looking at the initials usually made him feel even worse. He needed to get this ball to its rightful owner, and luckily for Kylo, that time would come only a few months later.

An officer barged into the observational room Kylo was in, sweating and shaking as he informed him that they were closer than ever with this new lead. Kylo paid close attention to the explanation about how a girl had recently presented herself to the OBGYN unit of a hospital on an ally planet, and when they drew her blood it came back with a high midi-chlorian count, one of the highest the hospital had ever seen. The Order had just uncovered a Resistance spy working as a nurse within the hospital and found out she had referred the newly pregnant woman to the Resistance and promised her she’d get the care and attention she needed with, of course, Rey. After that the girl disappeared, and no one, not even the Resistance to anyone’s knowledge, had found her. 

Kylo’s blood boiled. Resistance spies were becoming a nuisance and a thorn in his side. The midi-chlorian count was 17,500, nearly as high as his. That was truly impressive, and he knew he had to have her. The officer had started giving out options as to where to go next, but as Kylo listened he realized he must have been mistaken. He had previously thought the Force sensitive girl he was hunting was the infant he had been seeing, but apparently she was a fully grown woman that was expecting a child. Kylo was confused, asked for clarification on how long ago this sighting was, and got the answer of about two years ago. He tried to make sense of the information, threading the pieces in his mind but came up with nothing. It didn’t explain why he was seeing a child through the Force at all, and he found he was stumped once again.

He listened to the officer ramble on for a few minutes, turning around and once again focusing on the screens that showed the pathways of many of the First Order ships. As he talked to himself, trying to come up with some kind of reasonable explanation for what he had been seeing, the officer said something that made his heart come to a complete halt.

“From the hospital on Omega-4, she likely could have gone to a number of planets--”

_ Omega-4.  _ That planet was painfully familiar.

“What planet was the pregnant woman seen on?” He asked, turning around sharply on his heels. 

“Omega-4, my Lord.” The man answered, and almost instantly a lump began to form in his throat. That was the planet he had placed his ex girlfriend on so many years ago.  _ Two  _ years ago by his count. 

His hands began to shake as he reached into his pocket for the toy he had always carried with him, looked at the handwriting on it and wondered what the probability was that the child he had been seeing was hers. 

No. It couldn’t have been.

How could she have had such a high midi-chlorian count and he not know? How could she have been so powerful in the Force and been able to repress those powers for an entire four years? That was impossible. He was once again allowing his thoughts of her take over, and that’s not what he needed right now. 

“I want a search of every nearby planet. Leave no house unturned.” Kylo said, shoving the ball back into his pocket and storming past the officer. If he were going to be successful in the retrieval of this woman and, presumably, her child, he would need to not allow thoughts of his ex girlfriend to cloud his mind. 

He watched the maps as every planet was searched and overturned, scanning for every Force sensitive individual they could find. He was becoming antsy, worried that they were making a big enough impact that the Resistance would be following close behind him. He just wanted to find this woman before Rey did, and he wanted them to be his. 

The hard work of the Order finally paid off when, one night, Kylo was called into a meeting. There he learned that they had positively identified the woman from the hospital, and she was now living on planet Axxila in the Outer Rim. She lived in a run down hut that she could barely afford, but every time people saw her she would tell them everything was fine with a loving smile. She could often be seen working at the market selling fruit she had grown in her backyard and other odds and ends she crafted herself. Locals claimed they once saw her big and pregnant walking into her house, and a few days later she emerged with a baby on her back heading toward the market to work. People said she was sweet, kept to herself and never wanted any trouble, and they said her son was the cutest, most curious child they had ever met. 

Kylo felt like he was very quickly jumping to conclusions, but he swore up and down that sounded exactly like her. She was crafty, had often made little stuffed animals and such out of yarn and donated them to the nurseries and preschools of the Order. She was kind, she was quiet and could never stand to see any violence onboard the Supremacy. Kylo blinked away the forming of his tears, asking for a photo or video or anything of her with an emotional crack in his voice. One officer pulled one up, casting it from his tablet into a hologram into the center of the room. Right then and there, Kylo’s heart stopped and he nearly fell to his knees.

It was her. A shot of her from her shoulders up, he could no longer deny that the woman he was hunting was the love of his life. He stared at the light blue image of her casting a sweet glance over her shoulder, her hair partly in her eye and the most perfect smile adorning her face. His lips parted and a silent gasp came from his throat as he stared back at her. She was alive, and he needed her back.

“Prepare my ship. Send the coordinates to me immediately.” He grumbled, wiping his eyes free of his tears. He had so many questions and so little answers. Whose baby was that? Why had she fled the Resistance? Why hadn’t she contacted him for help? Who was the baby he had been seeing for nearly a year now? And most importantly, why had she left him in the first place? The questions caused him to cry out, a sob breaking from his throat that he couldn’t stop. He needed her. He needed answers. He needed to know  _ why.  _

He wastes no time in firing his ship up, plugging the coordinates in and flying as quickly as he could to Axxila. Every time he thought about the fact that he’d be seeing her again tears would blur his vision, and it made it hard for him to concentrate. His hands would shake around the steering apparatus, and he found the entire situation to be so stressful. His mind would race in one direction or another, and once the sandy planet appeared in his vision he felt his stomach drop ten feet within his own body. He was nervous, and he had a feeling this wouldn’t go well. 

He and his fleet landed, being careful to not destroy too much of the planet’s buildings. Normally he wouldn’t have cared for what he destroyed or who he killed, but this planet was different. This planet held the most important person in his life, and he didn’t think he’d be able to live with himself if he accidentally killed her. 

The people scattered like small insects beneath his ships, and as soon as he landed he jumped from his ship and ran to the direction of what was supposedly her home. Around him people cowered in fear, they ran, screamed, and cried at his presence, but none of them mattered. The only thing that mattered was the small, worn out hut that was just at the top of the hill he could see right in front of him. He tried to keep himself composed as well as he could, but once he got the final few feet from the door he ran. Ran all the way up to her ratty welcome mate and began pounding on the door. What if she wasn’t home? What if she wasn’t alive?

What if he never got to see her again?

These thoughts plagued his mind until the door slowly creaked open and, lo and behold, the only person Kylo had ever loved in his entire life stood there in front of him. 

“No, Kylo.” She said, trying to close the door as soon as she locked eyes with him, but Kylo wouldn’t allow her to get off that easily.

“Wait, baby,” He said, pushing against the door and causing her to grimace. “Please, I just want to talk.”

“I, I have nothing to tell you, Kylo!” She screamed, once again shoving the door to try and close it. Kylo knew he wouldn’t have the time to beat around the bush, to try and woo her and talk about how much he missed her. At the moment, she wanted nothing to do with him, so he had to make what he had to say quick.

“Just tell me, how long have you known you had the Force.” 

At the mention of the Force, she stopped, stared at Kylo with a broken and lost look upon her face. She sighed, bowed her head and Kylo was devastated to see tears beginning to drip down her face. “Baby,” He breathed. He hadn’t meant to make her cry. Feeling horrible, he reached his hand to her face to comfort her, but she drew herself back, stepping into her home and holding the door open just a little more. He wanted to hug her, to kiss her, to tell her he missed her and he wanted her to come home with him. But he also knew he was treading on very thin ice between her being here in front of him and him getting the information he needed. He had to be smart if he wanted this to end the way he wanted, and he would be willing to do anything to get her to talk to him.

“I knew you’d find me,” She said, wiping her eyes free of her tears and refusing to look at him. “I only had so much time since I left the ER on Omega.” Kylo tried his hardest not to show his suspicion. She had just said she was in the emergency room on Omega-4, yet his reports said she was in the maternity unit. Although he knew she was lying, he wouldn’t be saying anything. He needed her to do the talking this time, and once he got her story he knew he could start his mission to bring her back home. She lifted her head to him, her lower lip quivering as she stared into his eyes. She was just as beautiful as he could remember. His woman, his world. 

“If I tell you, everything.  _ Everything.  _ Will you leave and never come back?” She asked, and Kylo agreed with her. He knew he couldn’t force her to come back with him, but he was confident in his ability to persuade her to not go off with the Resistance.

“I just want to know why.” Kylo whispered, and he was content with her nod. Sheepishly she stepped aside and opened the door a little more, allowing him in and there he got a better look at how his woman, and presumably her child, were living.

Kylo was appalled. The entire hut was one room. One room held her small bed, her couch, a bookshelf with only a few books, the smallest kitchen he had ever seen, a door which he assumed was hiding a bathroom, and one dresser that was old and falling apart. There was nothing that suggested there was a child living here at all, and Kylo was once again confused.

She sits upon the bed while Kylo sits on her sunken in, ripped up couch. He stares at her, but she won’t look at him. He waits for her to start speaking, but she does nothing but wring her hands and move her foot nervously. Whatever had happened to her between the time she left him and now was obviously very traumatic to her, but Kylo had to know what was going on.

“Do you want me to start from the beginning?” She asks him, looking into his eyes for a second before looking back down into her lap. He nods his head once, then watches her closely as she sighs, dries even more tears from her eyes and begins to tell her side of the story.

“When I first arrived on Omega, I knew I couldn’t live off of the money you gave me alone. I took up gardening, growing fruits and vegetables and flowers for people who would buy them, and that brought me a stable source of income. I was out in my garden one day and got stung by a Sorcerer Wasp, and suffered a severe allergic reaction. I called for an ambulance and they brought me to the ER where they took my blood to be analyzed for any possible, threats, I guess, and that’s when they said my blood was full of those midi-chlorian things. They brought someone out that told me I would have to go back to the Supremacy and be trained by you, the  _ cheater,  _ and I really, really did not want that. So I told them I’d pack my bags and be ready by morning, then got on a ship to a random planet in the Outer Rim and never came back.” For the first time since her explanation started, she looked at him and he could see the struggle in her eyes. She looked so broken, so run down and so exhausted, Kylo couldn’t help but to feel so awful for her.

However, he was well versed in the Force and he could see that she was not hiding her thoughts. He could see plain as day that she was lying to him, and he knew he was going to have to work hard to get the truth out of her. 

“I never cheated on you, baby.” He says, which, of course, sends her into a panicked frenzy.

“You came all the way to my house just to try and tell me what I saw with my own two eyes wasn’t true?” He can feel her heart beating rapidly, she was lying to him, still lying to him after these last two years, and what was worse was he could feel her coming loose in his hand. “I don’t want you here, Kylo! You know I have the Force, you know why I left, just leave!”

“You know I would never hurt you, baby,” Kylo says, standing to his feet and taking a bold step toward her. “There’s no reason to lie to me. I’m not here to punish you.” Suddenly her hands flew up in front of her, she let out a gasp and seemed to allow this odd fear sweep over her as Kylo made his way to the bed.

“Stop, don’t come any closer.” She said, and Kylo couldn’t stand to see her so worked up. More tears slipped down her face as she stepped toward him instead. “Please, I’d like you to just--”

Kylo stopped her, taking her hand in his and shushing her. She went cold, holding as still as she could as Kylo rubbed her hand in his, just the way he remembered she liked him to. “What’s the matter, baby?” Kylo cooed, knowing she was just seconds away from breaking down. “Why are you  _ really  _ out here? Can’t I help you at all?” Her hand shakes in his, and her face contorts. Within moments she stands in front of him sobbing, and Kylo knows what he has to do.

He wastes no time in wrapping his arms around her, holding her close as she lost any and all control of her emotions. He closes his eyes, ravishing the feeling of her body against his, and wishing this moment would last forever. He places his face in her hair and takes a big whiff, holding back tears of his own as long as he could. But at her familiar scent and the feeling of having her back into his arms, he finds himself breaking down into tears as well. 

“You can come home, you know.” He said, sniffing his own tears away. “Come back home, baby. You’re always welcome back home with me.”

“I can’t, Kylo.” She said, rutting her face against his robes. He hardly cares about the mess being made on his clothing. He only wants her to be safe, and he doesn’t think she’d be safe here. 

She goes on to blubber and cry about this and that, asking him to leave every so often, but at some point Kylo notices that someone else in the room is crying with them. 

It’s faint at first, but after a few seconds he can clearly hear it. It’s a baby crying. He picks up his head and looks around, trying to figure out where it’s coming from but he flinches as she picks her hands up and places them on his face.

“Shhh, shhh.” She says, and for a moment Kylo wonders if she’s shushing him or this baby that can clearly be heard over them. He stares at her confused for a moment, and then is completely blown away when she nearly leaps back into his arms, wraps her arms around his neck and plants a deep, passionate kiss upon his lips. It was the last thing he was expecting from this interaction, but he can’t help but to indulge himself in her as well. He laces his arms around her mid second and holds her close, reciprocating the kiss. It’s long, it’s romantic and wistful, and Kylo never wants it to end.

“I miss you.” She said to him, pulling away from his lips for one second. He crashes his lips against hers once more, becoming selfish and wanting more from her before he gives his answer.

“I miss you too.” He whispers. “I, I thought you were gone for good. I’m so relieved to see you’re alive.” He says, and she smiles at him.

Then the crying starts again, along with a small, mouse like phrase that Kylo could barely hear.

“ _ Help!”  _ The voice says, and he could see his woman beginning to shake. He wants to ask what was going on even though he knew she was stashing a child somewhere in her home, but everything was going so well, he didn’t want to derail her progress in getting her back to him. 

Suddenly, she took him by the hand, beginning to drag him closer to the bed. He followed her, like a confused puppy he did as she wanted him to. She pushed him onto the bed and then sat upon his lap, straddling him like she used to. Now Kylo truly didn’t know what to think.

“I’m right here.” She smiled at him, once again taking his face in her hands and forcing a kiss on him. Kylo begins to doubt himself, becomes less interactive as he knows there’s a third party somewhere in this room who is afraid and crying out for help. He wished she’d just tell him the truth, to come home with him where she knew she belonged. He runs her hands along her back and stares into her eyes, wondering what he could say next to move the conversation where it belongs. However, before he can say anything yet another new noise interrupts them, and this time he can clearly hear it coming from under the bed. 

A banging noise, as if someone were banging on the underside of the bed, underneath of him and her. It was haunting, and Kylo knew this couldn’t go on. Her child, her son, was likely terrified, and Kylo had to put an end to it.

“I’m right here, and I missed you.” She said a little bit louder, before pushing him onto his back. He stares at her, trying not to give away his emotions, but it’s hard when he’s staring at her looking so afraid. He comes up with a plan in his mind, shimmies himself to the top of the bed and allows her to kiss him again. He plays her game for a while before flipping her around, looking her deep within her eyes and reminding her that they both liked it more when he was on top. Of course that wasn’t true, there were many different positions they had tried and plain missionary wasn’t one of her favorites. But as Kylo suspected, she went along with it to satisfy him.

He brings his mouth down to her neck, kissing her over and over along her jaw while running his hands along her body. 

“ _ Mommy!”  _ He heard the child scream again, and she did her best to drown it out with a loud, clearly faked moan.

“I’m here, Kylo.” She said loudly, clearly speaking to the child that was right below them. Kylo found this to be sickening, and when he found he could no longer take it, while she had her eyes closed and was likely pretending to enjoy what he was doing to her, he leaned over, reached under the bed and immediately made contact with a large, wooden chest.

“No, Kylo!” She said, leaning up just as she did. A swift flick of his hand sent the lid of the chest flying across her room, and before she could stop him he sat up and threw himself from the bed to get a better look at this child she had tried so hard to hide from him.

“Just what are you hiding--” He started to accuse her rather heatedly, only he never got to finish his sentence. The minute he laid eyes on the child that had been hidden under the bed from him the entire time, a heartbreaking look of fear across his face and his hands thrust up into the air in front of him, he was thrown from the floor, into the air, and into the far wall of her home. He landed with a thud, just barely able to catch his footing before standing all the way up and trying to make sense of what had just happened to him. When he looked up at his woman she was reaching into the chest, frantically chanting the word ‘no’ like it was a spell. The child was sobbing now, likely scared out of his mind at what was going on, and all of this going on at once agitated him greatly. He looked at her for an explanation, but he never got one. Instead, when she pulled the child out of the box Kylo was nearly sent falling back into the wall. 

He knew this child. The mop of black hair, the chubby cheeks and the two bottom teeth. He was even wearing a red shirt and a blue cloth diaper, just as he had seen him last. This was the child he had been seeing through the Force this entire time, and it had turned out that his original assumption was true. He had been seeing her child from the very beginning, and suddenly he knew why he was seeing him through the Force.

This was  _ his  _ child, his child that had been hidden from him for the last two years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Starting here, this was my original vision for the story. I planned on Kylo having no idea that he had a child, and the reader not having the Force. He would hunt her down because he felt a strong Force user that he had to have, and is confused when he finds her of all people.   
> I can't wait to share the last chapter with everyone!


	5. Chapter 5

“Stay right where you are.” She says, holding the little boy tightly to her. “Don’t come any closer to us. You can’t have him!” Kylo’s skin crawls as he listens to her shouting, her voice full of fear and panic while trying to balance the severely distraught toddler in her lap. He can’t wrap his mind around what was happening. He doesn’t understand. Why had she been hiding a child from him? Was he the  _ real  _ reason why she had run away?

“Stop staring at me like an idiot, Kylo. I know you know. For christ’s sake. He’s your child. You’ve been seeing him since he was days old. Don’t act like you came here just for me!” She says, breaking into sobs once again. In her lap the child turns to look at him, but she places her hand over his eyes to block his face and force him to look at the wall again. “Chase, don’t look at him, baby.” She warns the child, placing her face in his scruffy hair and hugging him close. “Don’t be afraid, mommy will protect you.” Her voice, though full of alarm, is still comforting, even Kylo can feel himself calming as he listens to her reassure the child.

His child, apparently. 

All this time he had looked into the eyes of this child and wished so badly that he had his own to love and to care for, only to find out that it was his child this entire time. Kylo is hurt. Tears began to blur the now two most important people in his life together in a colorful blob, and the only word he manages to get out past the lump in his throat is “why?”

She picks her head up from the boy’s hair, wipes her face clean a few times with her free hand before looking Kylo right into his eyes. He can see her bravery and strength, and he’s reminded once again why he loved her so much. 

“I could never raise a child with you, Kylo,” She breaths, once again damaging Kylo’s soul. He was not expecting to hear such hurtful words. What was wrong with him? Why didn’t she feel like he was capable of taking care of his own child? “You were obsessed with your work, with that fucking scavenger girl or whatever. That’s all you ever wanted to do or talk about, and I just felt so unloved that last year of our relationship. All day long, Rey this. Resistance that. I felt like I was the least most important thing in your life.” Kylo can’t keep the hurt off of his face or the tears from streaming down his cheeks. He really was such an idiot to put work above the love of his life. It was true he was so into finding Rey and the Resistance that he became obsessed and overshared, but he never meant to diminish his thoughts about his woman at all.

“You, you thought I didn’t love you?” He asks, feeling his fingers beginning to shake while the rest of his body goes numb. 

“Yes, Kylo. I thought you were planning on leaving me for that girl,” She explains, and Kylo can’t help but to tuck his face into his hands and let loose all of his emotions. There was no way he preferred Rey to the amazing woman sitting here in front of him, especially since she had given him a child. “I couldn’t take it. It drove me so mad when I’d sit there next to you at night knowing she’s all you’d think about all day and night. I planned on leaving on my own, but not before I noticed my period had been a few weeks late.

“I snuck into the medbay one night and stole a pregnancy test and took it in one of the communal bathrooms. When it came up positive I ran all the way to the incinerator and threw it in. I was so fucking scared, I didn’t know what to do, or what I was going to have to do. I didn’t want to keep it at first, but I knew getting rid of it without you knowing was going to be impossible. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it wasn’t his fault that you didn’t love me anymore, and, and I knew when I left I didn’t want to be alone. So I hid it from you until I could come up with some excuse to leave. Kylo, I knew you didn’t cheat on me with the damn maid. I knew it would confuse you and you wouldn’t understand, but you were just so obsessed with that scavenger, I didn’t want my child growing up feeling the same way you made me feel.

“So I made up that lie, and I got on the next ship going out, fully intending to start a life for myself and my child. I appreciate what you did for me when I got to Omega, and I planned on living there with him until I went for my first check up. They drew my blood and found that it was packed with the midi-chlorian things. They told me I was powerful, and that it didn’t matter who the father was, that my child would grow up to be great and change the world. A nurse came in and said she was working undercover with the Resistance, and could promise me that my child and I could be trained under the greatest fighter they had, and when they showed me the picture and it was  _ her,  _ I couldn’t believe it. They wanted me to train under the woman that single handedly destroyed my relationship with the man I loved and was having a child with. I was so hurt that I burst into tears.

“I told them I’d pack my bags and be ready to go by morning since I had just gotten on Omega, but as soon as I got home I packed what little I had been able to take and ran again. I found someone that would take me to the Outer Rim, somewhere where I thought we’d be safe from both the Resistance and the Order, and I didn’t look back. Yeah, I know this sorry excuse for a house isn’t as great as the one you bought for me on Omega, but it’s kept us safe.” She looks at him boldly, and he knows she’s telling him the truth this time. The story is breaking his heart, but he feels he has to hear it to know how badly he had ruined things between him and her. 

“The first few months of my pregnancy were rough, especially since I now knew I had the Force just like you do. I didn’t know how to use it, didn’t know if you could track me with it, or whatever. I just knew that I was alone, with a child that I had to find a way to support on the way. I spent so many nights hiding under my covers thinking I could somehow feel you on your way to take me and my child back, that I was late on my first month's rent and almost got kicked out. I took as much money as I could with me to pay rent, and ended up blowing through it. I was three months pregnant when I had to get a job at a market stall helping someone stock and sell his paintings. It didn’t take me long to realize that I could open my own stall at the market and sell my own goods, so I grew some fruits and crocheted some little toys and blankets. I used the last of the money you gave me to buy my own spot at the market, and had successfully started my own little business. By the time I was ready to give birth I had a steady stream of income, but it just barely covered my expenses. 

“I’ll never forget the night I gave birth. My water had broken when I was sleeping and I didn’t notice it till I woke up the next morning. I had no one. I didn’t know what I was doing so I just did what my body told me to do. It took all day to be able to push, and it was the worst day of my life. I had some people banging on my doors asking me if I needed help, people that were regulars at the market that noticed I was gone, but I had spent so much time pushing people away because I was afraid I would be making friends with a spy who would be working for you to get me back home. I denied everyone's help, and I worked myself through my labor until I could feel him bearing down inside of me.

“I tried pushing him on on the bed like I assumed most women who gave birth in a hospital did, but I didn’t think it was working. I figured gravity just wasn’t on my side, and I decided to try squatting instead. And it worked. As soon as I switched positions he was born within an hour. It was the worst, the  _ worst  _ thing I have ever lived through. It felt like I was being split in half the entire time. I didn’t think I could do it, but I did.” She shrugged, shifting their son around in her lap so she was more comfortable. Kylo casts his eyes down to the floor next to the bed, where a large, handmade blue rug sits just below her feet. He wonders if this hides the messy evidence of his son's birth, but he feels his wandering thoughts were straying too far. He had just taken in so much information about his woman and his child, and he felt that required his full, undivided attention. 

Now Kylo was able to connect the dots. The first night he heard the baby crying was the night he was born. He foolishly thought it was a child Rey was showing him, but to his credit he never knew he was having a child with another Force sensitive individual. He never would have guessed that it was his own child he was seeing and hearing in those first few days. He knows it’s selfish, but he can’t help but to feel robbed. Looking at the boy now, he was over a year old. He missed the entire first year of his child’s life in person. Kylo just didn’t know what the appropriate reaction was, so instead he continues to listen to his woman’s sad tale.

“You know, you make big babies, Kylo. I only had one way of weighing him once I was able to move, and that was on the shitty little scale I bought to weigh my fruit. Eleven pounds, Kylo. You gave me an eleven pound baby that I pushed out naturally without any medication. Needless to say, he and I just rested for the rest of the night after I got him clean and comfy.” She looks down, sweeps their child’s hair from his face and smiles rather weakly at him. He adores her adoration for their son. Even though the process was no doubt painful and traumatic for her, she can still look down at their son and smile. It warms Kylo’s heart, and he finds himself smiling at the back of his child’s head. He wants to see him, to hold him, and to tell him that he loved him and had loved him all of this time.

However, before the newfound family was able to enjoy a moment smiling together he watched hers fade into a distressed frown. She took another deep breath and her eyes began to sparkle and shine with tears. He should have known this happy moment was going to be short lived.

“I know you saw him. I  _ know  _ you got to see him through the Force. He was only four days old when I could feel you standing over him. I remember he turned his head to look at you, and it had hit me too late. I stood and I started yelling at you to go away. I didn’t want you anywhere near us physically or through the Force. I was too scared, scared that you’d find us and force us to come back to you. I thought you’d want to take him away from me, to train him to fight against that girl Rey. I couldn’t allow my child to become a weapon against anyone. Not against the Resistance and not against you.” She said, her tone taking on a sincere and serious turn. With another stressful sigh she looked back down at their child, who was looking up at her. Kylo got another good look at his profile and found himself becoming emotional again. She never wanted him to turn against him, she never wanted to join the Resistance because she didn’t want to see his child become his enemy. All this time, she had been sympathetic to him when he couldn’t see it. He could feel himself falling more and more in love with her as the seconds ticked by.

“But, oh my god. I missed you. I knew you didn’t love me, but I missed you.” She said ugly sobs wracking her body yet again. “I missed the way you used to be. I missed the way you’d talk to me, the way you’d hold my hand and the way you’d kiss me. Once that fucking girl entered your life all of that went out the window. I’d cry, wishing I had you back. Wishing I’d get the courage to contact you. There were multiple times I’d be on my way back home from the market just bawling, telling myself to just pick up a phone, or write a letter, or  _ something,  _ to tell you I was wrong and that I was so sorry for lying to you, but I just thought, there was no point. By the time Chase was born I thought you had found her, Rey. I thought you were probably happy with her, and that you wouldn’t want me and a child around. So I stayed to myself. Now, here we are.” She looked up at him, wiping her face clean and smiling down at their child. Amidst the blow to his spirit that was the guilt that was placed upon his shoulders, he focused on the name she had given their child.  _ Chase.  _ His mind suddenly wanders to the ball he had carried in his pocket since the day he had played with Chase, and he thinks now would be the perfect time to return it to him.

With his hand in his pocket resting on the red ball, he closes the gap between him and the two people he loved more than anyone in this galaxy. “You can’t have him, Kylo!” She shouts, clutching the boy so close to her that his neck cranes. “The only way you’re going to get him is if you pry him from my cold, dead hands!” The thought is preposterous to Kylo. He would never feel the need to have her killed in order to get his son back. In his mind, he was either leaving here with both of them or neither of them. There was no one or the other, there would be no killing involved. He only wanted to know that the woman he loved and his own son were safe, and he would have preferred it if they were safe with him.

He dropped to his knees in front of the two, his eyes glued to his child as he pulled the ball from the depths of his pocket. “Chase?” He asked, darting his eyes to his mother making sure he had permission to interact with his own child. She stared at him suspiciously, and he held the ball out to her to make his intentions known. “Does, does he remember this?” He asked her.

“Where did you get that?” She asked back, sounding as if she was panicking again.

“I got it from him,” He went onto explain. “Through our bond. I took it from him by accident. I knew the handwriting looked familiar to me. I knew it was yours and I took it by accident.” She took the ball from his hand, inspecting it closely before trying to hand it to the child.

“Chase Joel,” She said with a smile, and the child pointed his nose up to look at her.

“ _ Chase Joel.”  _ Kylo repeated, melting as he now knew his child’s full name. Chase’s attention stayed glued to his mother, at the ball in her hand that she held between them. 

“Ball?” He asked, then snatched it from his mother’s hand. 

“He’s only a year and a few months. He doesn’t know that many words.” She explained with a small giggle. He watched as Chase turned the ball around in his hand, then looked over at him. The biggest smile spread over the child’s face, then he haphazardly tossed the ball into Kylo’s lap. Chase had recognized him as the man he played with the ball with, and the revelation warmed Kylo’s broken heart. He remembered this game. He remembered this little happy and overly excited face that stared back at him. Kylo couldn’t keep the smile off of his face as he floated the ball into the air in front of Chase, then laughed as Chase leaned into him and took the ball from midair.

“Before I even knew he was mine, I loved him,” Kylo said, catching the ball as Chase threw it at him again. “I didn’t know why I was seeing a baby, but something in my gut told me to love him.” Kylo turned back to her, ready to give his proposal to her. To beg her to come back home so that they could be the family they deserved to be. “This entire time, the Force was pulling all three of us together and telling me I had a family, a woman and a child I needed to be loving and protecting, and I was foolish enough to believe otherwise.” His voice cracks and his entire body trembles as he takes her hand in his. He knows it won’t be easy, but he has to try to win his family back. 

“Please, baby,” He breaths, searching her eyes for any kind of understanding. “Please,  _ please  _ forgive me.” Before he can continue she breaks down into sobs, causing Chase to hold onto his ball and stare at her completely bewildered.

“You don’t love me.” She sobbed.

“Yes, I do.” Kylo said, begging her to believe him. “I can’t believe I was so  _ stupid  _ to have gotten obsessed with my work. That girl, Rey, she means  _ nothing  _ to me. She’s  _ never  _ meant anything to me.” She began shaking her head, covering her ears as if she didn’t want to hear him. “Baby, I was wrong. So wrong. I would never choose anyone else over you, or Chase. No one at all. Please, you have to believe me.”

“No, Kylo!” She shouted, and Chase flinched at the sudden rise in his mother’s voice. “You’re going to take us back and you’re going to weaponize us! I don’t want to fight, and I don’t want him to be raised to fight! I just want to live a normal life with my son. I don’t care about the Force, or the war, or whatever! I just want to be a mother to my son.”

“And I want nothing more than to be a father to my son as well.” He said, pushing past his tears as well as he can. “There is nothing I want more, than to parent our son together. I want to protect you two. There are lots of people out there who want to hurt those of us that can use the Force. There are people out there who will want to hurt you simply because you had my child. I would never train you in your Force abilities just to put you out on the frontline. I’d run the risk of losing you  _ and  _ him, and that’s not a risk I’m willing to take.” He said, and for a split second she stops. She stops shaking, stops crying, stops holding Chase so tightly to her. He thinks he's finally gotten her to understand him, to know he's telling the truth, and he knows it's a step in the right direction. “If you would like to live out the rest of your life in my home with Chase, day in and day out caring for him, taking him to school and all of that and never have to use the Force again, then fuck, that’s fine with me. I miss you, I  _ love  _ you, and I just want you back in my arms.” His tears are uncontrollable now. He knows this is it. This is when she would make the important decision on how she’d want to spend the rest of her life. He had to have her. He had to have  _ them  _ back at home with him.

“But, but Rey--” She squeaks, but Kylo can’t bear to hear more about Rey. He never loved Rey. The girl was forced upon him by Snoke, and if he had it his way he’d never see her again.

“Rey means nothing to me. If it means you’ll come back home, I’ll vow to never even so much as think about her when you’re around. Taking down the Resistance is important to the Order, but not more important than you are to me.” He said, once again begging for her to understand. When it all boiled down, she ran away because of him. He did push her away by becoming consumed by his work; this was his fault and he had to make it right. “Please, baby. Come home with me. I promise I’ll take care of you and him. I’ll do anything to make you happy.” He inches closer to her, now holding both of his hands around hers. She closes her eyes, and Kylo’s heart hammers wildly in his chest. He needed her. He needed her to understand that everything he said was sincere and he fully intended to make good on his promises to her. She sniffs, her entire body shakes and he knows he’s about to get his final answer. What would come out of her mouth next would shape his future, and he could only hope that he would get what he so desperately wanted. 

“You’ll teach him how to use the Force?” She asked, and Kylo nodded his head. “And, and you won’t train him to use it to hate, only to empower and uplift those around him?”

“Of course, baby.” He says. He wouldn’t even dream about training his own child to fight like an expendable Storm Trooper. 

“That girl, she’ll  _ never  _ come up in a conversation ever again?”

“Never.” He watched as she sucks her lower lip into her mouth, looks to Chase who simply stares up at her confused. The entire room was silent as he waited on her response, and when she finally did speak Kylo felt as if he was going to faint.

“C.J,” She says, sweeping his hair from his eyes and placing a small kiss upon his forehead. “Meet your father, baby.” She shifts him off of her lap and into Kylo’s, and Kylo accepts him with open arms. For the first time in the year since he had first interacted with Chase, Kylo gets to hold him in his arms. Chase sits on his knees, his hands on Kylo’s shoulders as he stares into his eyes. Kylo holds his son, his heart swelling with pride as he accepts his role as Chase’s father with no hesitation at all. “We’re going home, Chase. We’re going home with your father.” She says, and Kylo can’t help but to fall to the floor in sobs. He slouches, hugging Chase and cherishing him in order to make up for lost time. Without looking he reaches up and wraps an arm around his woman’s back, pulling her into a loving family embrace.

“Thank you.” Is all he manages to say. “Thank you, so much.” 

“I trust you.” She says back, and the three of them can only sit there and enjoy each other's presence. He decides that he has all he ever will need in life here in his arms, and he absolutely would not have it any other way. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was an actual successful attempt to write a short story lol. Every time I try to write one it ends up being far more detailed and turns into a multi chapter fic that's way too long.   
> Again, thanks to my writing buddy Cheeky for letting me hound you about this story while I was writing it. Also for the big baby inspiration lol.   
> Thanks for reading, and for any comments and kudos left! :D  
> -Jenn Noir


End file.
